Brooklynisms

This post is about isms.  Specifically, Brooklynisms and Elaineisms.  Just some random thoughts and funny moments about this life in New York City with a ten-month-old-afraid-of-nothing-little-girl.  I’ll start with Brooklyn.

Some things about life in the “Big City” still surprise me and catch me off guard.  For instance, a trip to Target to save a little money turns into a three hour experience.  You have to sit in traffic to get there, and then find an empty spot in the parking garage.  Then you have to take an elevator, and then the sky-walk to get over to Target.  Then you have to collapse the stroller and put it in your shopping cart.  And since you’ve only been to this store a few times, you will still get lost about a dozen times before you find all of the items on your list.  Once you find the items, you must stand in line at a price-scanner to find out how much they cost (because this Target doesn’t do price-tags).  You have to put your cart on the cart-escalator-thingy and go upstairs to find the baby department.  Then you have to put your cart on the cart-escalator-thingy to go back downstairs.  When you arrive downstairs, you discover that Elaine is missing a shoe.  You have to go back up the escalator to look for it.  And don’t forget to get cash back to pay for the hour and a half your car has been in the garage!

When you get home you have to double park in front of your house,  unload the baby into the house, and unload the groceries into the house.  All of this up two flights of steps.  Then you load the baby back into the car and go drive around for a half hour in search of a parking space.  When you find parking, the baby has just fallen asleep.  You must wake her up and load her into the stroller to walk a couple of blocks back to your house. 

I’m a person that likes to do everything at once.  If I’m clearing the dinner dishes, I try to take everything in one trip.  I have learned in Brooklyn that I have to make lots of little trips.  One day we go to the meat market.  One day we go to the Post Office.  One day we go to the store for milk.  Because the fact of the matter is…I cannot carry all of those things, push a stroller, and keep my sanity at the same time!

Parking is another thing.  For all of my New York readers, you can just laugh at me right here.  But I still have parking issues!  When we arrived here, I would get all over Ben’s case if he parked too close to a car.  I didn’t want the other car to “bump” us on his way out.  Now, if I see a parking spot…on my street…that I might have a slim chance of fitting into…I take it.  Yesterday I bumped the car behind me and in front of me getting into my spot.  Did I leave a note on the windshield?  Nope.  Someone will do it to me sometime, and they won’t leave a note either.

You also don’t want to get a parking ticket around here.  I was walking home the other day when suddenly this man came flying out of a store shouting, “No!  Wait!”  Why?  His meter was up, and the parking cop was writing him a ticket.  Even when he flicked a quarter in the slot and begged, “C’mon, man” (which wasn’t the best choice of words as he was talking to a lady), it was to no avail.  He got the ticket.

While we’re talking about cars, let me mention Manhattan.  While I do not have personal experience in this area, Ben drives there almost every day to make deliveries.  He tells me stories of Park Avenue.  There are three lanes.  One lane people park in.  One lane people double park in.  And one lane you can sometimes drive in.  If they are not doing construction.  It took Ben an hour and half to go a couple of miles because they had two lanes shut down!

Then there is the diversity.  This is the thing that drew me to the City.  Yet it still surprises me!  While shopping at Target I can hear the Orthodox Jewish boys discussing deodorant in Hebrew, the Asian lady yelling at her kids in Chinese over by the tissues, and I hear Russian over in the hardware section.  It’s so cool!

Well, this post has become rather long, so I will write about Elaine another time.  Sorry to disappoint you!  I hope it wasn’t too boring.  The moral of the story is that if you have a driveway, or a non-crowded street where you get to park your car…in the same place…every time – be grateful!  And if Target or…{gasp} Wal-Mart are a stone’s throw from your house, enjoy it! Someday you might find yourself living in the Big City too!