Thankful Thursday: Trusting Jesus

Today I want to share something that Lord has been doing in our hearts over the last couple of weeks.  During our short time in Brooklyn in April, I went to see the midwife for a baby check-up.  It was also my 20-week anatomy sonogram.  Baby boy was breech, so it was difficult for them to get all of the pictures they wanted, especially of his heart.  I returned ten days later for a follow-up sonogram. 

At the second visit they discovered that baby’s kidneys are retaining fluid.  This is something that is more common in boys, but it can also be a marker for more serious health problems.  I was so thankful that the midwife I was seeing that day was Jeniffer – she delivered Nolan and the twins, and I have a really good relationship with her.  I felt comfortable asking my questions and talking with her about this difficult issue. 

I decided to have a blood test done which is 99% accurate in pin-pointing the potential problem.  Aside from that, they will continue to monitor the baby’s kidneys via sonogram at each visit until birth, and he will need a sonogram himself very soon after birth to be sure his kidneys have emptied.   

The test results would take at least a week to be returned.  We didn’t really share this during that week of waiting.  We had our own fair share of questions without answers, and we didn’t want to alarm everyone if it turned out to be nothing. 

I have had very uncomplicated pregnancies.  My biggest complaint is acid reflux, but it results in babies born with a head full of hair, so it’s okay in the end.  J  I have sometimes wondered why we have not had to walk through the difficult waters that many of our friends have walked through related to children – whether infertility, miscarriage, special needs babies, morning sickness/bed rest, or health issues in the baby such as reflux, colic, asthma, etc.  Sometimes I wonder if this will be the pregnancy when we get bad news, or hard to handle news. 

But as I walked to the car after my appointment, I had only two thoughts that I remember.  The first was Isaiah 26:3-4.  Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusted in thee.  Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength.  My next thought was part of a song entitled, “Bow the Knee.”  The words that the Lord brought to my mind were these:               

Bow the knee.  Trust the heart of your Father

when the answer goes beyond what you can see.

             And when you don’t understand, the purpose of His plan.

             In the presence of the King, bow the knee. 

And I knew that no matter what the test results showed, the Lord was in this and He would sustain us.  I told Him that I would trust Him.   

I didn’t have many worries about it through the next week.  I was busy packing for our trip and we left Brooklyn before the test results came in.  However, a few circumstances came up that made me wonder.  Maybe it was even a doubt.  It was surely a time of deepening trust in the Lord, and leaning on His peace. 

The folks we stayed with on our first weekend in VA have a grandson with the particular problem which was a possibility for our baby.  They talked about his struggles and how he is thriving and baffling the doctors.  Then at the next stop, the missionary staying in the apartment next door just “felt” like he needed to stop by and give us a pamphlet his daughter-in-law wrote about their journey through special needs with their first baby.  With each of these I wondered what God was doing.  Was He trying to prepare my heart for bad news? 

I clung to my verse, and I prayed a lot, but the day before the test results could come in was difficult.  I just wondered all day.  With each wonder, I tried to remind myself that the Lord is in control of this. 

The test took two extra days to come back.  I had decided to call the midwife on Thursday if I didn’t hear anything.  We were packing the van to go to our next stop.  I had just carried my purse to the car when the phone rang.  It was the midwife, and my test came back fine.  Our baby is fine.  (They still have to monitor the kidneys, but it’s not as serious as it could have been). 

I don’t know the Lord’s purpose in all of this. Maybe He just wanted to test our response.  To give us more bedrock in our trust in Him.  But I know that no matter what the test results could have been, the Lord would have walked with us every step of the way.  And I also know that today, I am very thankful for the blessing of another healthy baby.